Shared Future
by frankiewode
Summary: Hesitant steps, she thinks...  Leading slowly to our shared future.  Drabble following Alisha after F!Simon's death.  Rated T for language


Shared Future

**A/N: **Seriously. THE OTP of a lifetime. These guys are amazing. This is just a small drabble showing Alisha's thoughts after the events of 2x04

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own sexy future simon ): or misfits._

He has a hesitant step, she decides.

Like when he handed over the money to that crazed video gamer.

Step, slide, shuffle; repeated... endlessly.

Future Simon would have taken that one slide, owned it, impressed her. But this Simon is hesitant, and careful. She worries sometimes that he's too careful. Like if she's not careful, he'll completely close his heart to her and _her_ Simon will have died for nothing...

_Her _Simon is nothing now.

Nothing but ashes in a rundown ware-house.

It's impressive, she thinks, that he could love someone _that_ much; to travel back in time, to sacrifice himself. He kept secret the knowledge of his past, present and even his future, her future, only some of which she had a clue about.

But not his death.

It's impressive, but ultimately useless, she almost yells out in an angry passion. What greater good? This Simon is not her Simon and she doesn't see how he ever will be. Except... that _her_ Simon is living proof... well... not _living_. Not anymore.

It's embarrassing, she thinks. He's just such a... freak. A complete loser. Yet when she spies Curtis stride his way over to Nikki after community service, and loosely link his hands with hers. Smiles... and kisses her... She knows that they could never possibly be as happy as she was... maybe as she will be.

She told him that she loved him.

She's never loved anyone before. He could touch her and mean it. Maybe that's why? Maybe it was a hurried moment of passion and desperation to not lose her one exception. But it's not...

She loved him... Or loves him?

But she did.

Despite all the men she can remember being with, not one has ever looked at her with the same intensity as Simon. He has this way of knowing exactly what she is thinking, exactly who she is behind the pretty face. He understands... or understood her in a way she never knew possible. And it frightens her; for once she doesn't have all the control. She could tell that he did not have any intention of being her conquest and for some reason he was right. Just like that, just because he told her she would, she fell in love with him.

She'd thought she was in love with Curtis. Now it was just pretty words and store-cupboards. She'd thought it was special at the time, their version of a sexual connection. But she really hadn't known what special meant. Special was confusion, hitched breaths, insecurity, security, smiles, laughter, embarrassment, comfort, love... real love. And touch. Simon couldn't stop touching her.

But she doesn't love Simon as he is now; only as he will be. So if Simon will only become who will be with her love then it is impossible she concludes. _I wouldn't fall in love with such a... freak..._

And yet... though he isn't yet the Simon she loves, she can't bring herself to leave him alone.

She'll smile at him in-between Nathans bantering, simply because no-one else will. But as soon as that startled expression creeps its way onto his face she's feels guilty. Like she should be joining in, calling him names, laughing. Like it's not fair that she's been the only one allowed a sneak peek. Like she's using it to her advantage.

She walks behind him on their way in and out of the community centre. Softly laughing at how his awkward penguin walk will become so different. Now it's so stiff... square almost... Gripping onto his neat little briefcase; smoothing down the collar of his buttoned up shirt. She knows that she'll be the one to loosen him up; make him relax. But she can't do anything now. She doesn't know why, but she feels he's not ready yet. Not ready for her.

He becomes almost an obsession to her; a quiet obsession. No-one notices... especially not Simon. He's got a girlfriend now. Jessica.

She wishes now that she had made more of an effort, that he _had_ been fucking ready for her. She's mad at Simon; both of them. Future-boy had promised her that he would still be here. That she wouldn't lose him and he fucking lied..

She's lost both of them; one to death and the other to an Amazon whore. One is almost the same as the other when it means that he lied to her. Maybe it won't be permanent but it still fucking hurts...

But when he finally loses Jessica she doesn't celebrate. She spots him sitting alone in the locker room with a single tear track he doesn't do a thing to hide and she almost breaks all over again. She wants to touch him. If she opens her mouth she knows that her only comfort will be tears. So she stays silent and sits beside him on the bench.

A minute and then he leans over until his face is pressed against her covered shoulder. "Thank you..." he says. "Thank you for being here."

She doesn't even look at him.

But she nods and rests her head against his.

Hesitant steps, she thinks...

_Leading slowly to our shared future._


End file.
